The following essay was written by my friend Kent Oram. He has graciously allowed me to share it with you. It is a wonderful testament to the power of character and leadership in parenting. Enjoy.
Honor and Action
My parents passed away during 2010. It has been interesting, challenging, and enlightening. I am aware of the importance our decisions have not only on our lives but on the lives of those around us. Never has this truth been more evident than it is as I consider the lives of my parents.
Until the day he died, my dad said "I am who I am.” If I work diligently, someday I might measure up to the life embodied by those simple words spoken by that simple man.
My mother said "be satisfied with what you have and who you are. If you want to change one of those, work on who you are."
They were imperfect people who raised imperfect children. They lived humble lives and were never pretentious. Their hard work and example shows those who knew them the pathway to real happiness is not lined with possessions or riches. It is lined with memories of a life where principles and beliefs are aligned with actions. Knowing they had faults helped them focus on capitalizing on their strengths. They called it “determination.”
If you asked them to do something, you never had to worry or follow-up.
Once in a very great while, you would hear a benign curse fall from their lips. Always, you would witness immediate regret for ill chosen words.
They had no difficulty determining right from wrong. At the same instant, they were not judgmental and always full of love. Now and then, I would hear “I love you but not what you are doing.” There was no dichotomy in those words when spoken by my parents.
They had their sight on a target. Like all humans, their vision was obscured now and then. Unlike many humans, they fought with all the fervor they could muster to regain their vision of their goal as quickly as possible and move towards it again. Their pursuit of their life’s goal was relentless.
I will miss them but I have their example to follow. Perhaps, if I work at it, 40 years from now, someone can write something like this about me.
Now, why do I write this to my friends? Recently, it has been troubling to watch as some around me struggle. Some behaviors are simply out of harmony with beliefs. Some attempt to offload accountability and find they cannot. One cannot talk about dignity and respect during the day and mock those values during the night.
As I have reflected, I have thought of my own imperfections. Together, let us resolve to align our actions to be more in harmony with our beliefs. Let us be kinder and gentler. Trust and be trustworthy. Be humble. Seek to make a positive difference in the lives of those who surround us at work and at home. Live a life we can happily hope others will follow.
I will follow my own advice and honor my parents’ legacy through my actions. What will you do?
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